Day Twenty - Fools Rush In

Ryan likes to go out to Karaeoke nights on Mondays. And tonight, I just got home in time to say a quick "Good Night" and an "I love you" to him. All in all, it's an unusual night when we talk less than 20 minutes. Before that, at work, I had a chance to chat with him for about the same amount of time. And yet so many amazing things have happened today regarding the both of us, that we might as well have talked for hours.

It feels like it's late, and I am tired. I want to go to bed and sleep. Not only because of the long, hard day I've had, but also because when I wake up tomorrow, the countdown will read one less day until I see him in person. Which makes what I am about to write maybe a little (or a lot) more baffling for most people. It wasn't out of the blue. It wasn't a rushed decision. But I did ask my boyfriend if he would move in with me. And, to my complete thrill, he said yes.

A man willing to move his entire life 1600 miles south for a woman he knows more than he thinks but less than more people would consider prudent is one thing. A woman who wants this wonderful man to share her roof before spending months or years skirting around the issue is another. None of those things matter, I think, regardless of how other people might see it.

Ours is not a conventional relationship.

I am completely willing to bet everything in my life on Ryan. I wouldn't be able to explain why in a coherent manner. I just am. He has put his trust on me, and he has loved me as best he can. I am a fulfilled woman, for the first time in my life. Not just because I have him, although that is a big part of things. No, I feel complete because not having to worry about whether or not I will ever be happy has just taken such a load off my mind and allowed me to focus on other things. He helps me cope with things that seemed insurmountable only months before. He puts a smile on my face when I feel that everything is coming apart. And call me a dreamer, but I think I do him good as well.

How could I not be a fool for him? How could I not want to rush in? Whatever happens in the future, I now have this. The knowledge that I have lived a great love. And no one could ever take that away from me.