Day Eight - Should I stay or should I go?

This one is so easy it's almost laughable. And yet, it is, of all the things occupying my mind at the moment, definitely the heaviest one. Should I hop a plane or stay put?

Last December, I must confess, I found myself en route to the airport, credit card in hand, ready to surprise Ryan by showing up unannounced at his apartment, probably after calling him from outside his door. Romantic right? Or at least I thought so, until I realized how creepy it would be. He works such long hours and has so little free time that I would have spent most of the two weeks I had planned to stay cooped up in a hotel room (to my credit, I did have the foresight, even in my moment of madness, to think that it was probably too soon to spend two straight weeks at his place). A few blocks away from the airport, I started to listen to the voices of my friends and family. It was too soon, too rushed. Our relationship had enough obstacles already to further complicate things by lack of planning. Oh, but I so longed to see my boy. It was a very hard choice to make. So I did the most reasonable thing I could do at the moment. I pulled over to the Denny's located two blocks from the airport, and tried to figure out things over some coffee and a slice of Banana Cream Pie.

Back then, I made the right decision I think. Sure, I had my bags ready and my visa stamped. But the closer it got to 9:15 pm, the time the flight I was planning on taking was supposed to leave, the more it started to feel like a bad idea. I wanted to be Ryan's girlfriend, not his stalker. We both needed time and space to let the idea of a long distance relationship grow.

And now it's just two months later. An entirely different set of circumstances has arisen and while not sitting at a Dennys, I am drinking cup after cup of coffee figuring out my next play. A few weeks back, after a long talk with my boyfriend and a lot of thought and planning, I booked a flight for Valentine's weekend. It seemed like there was nothing I wanted more than to spend a Hallmark holiday with someone I love so much. It made a strange kind of sense and gave me a hell of thrill just to think about it. Then a few days later the dream was dashed. Because of unavoidable work stuff, I had to cancel my trip. To say I was bummed out would be an understatement.

Fact: It wouldn't be easy, but an opportunity has presented to get out of the work thing. Fact: All my travel plans are obsolete now. I would have to spend more money and last time there. Fact: It is all I can do not to hop a plane.

We have both just figured we could wait until March 13. Not only that, I even started this blog, collecting the various thoughts that come to mind in anticipation of said event. And now, what? Do I let this chance go by? Do I sit and wait? Do I make a big effort and then a go for it?

Dammit, Dave, you were right. Too many choices. Sometimes, that is the problem. Also a problem? The fact that I would want nothing more than to kiss Ryan on Valentine's day.