Day Seven - Game Change

I sometimes feel trapped in an infinite loop. I don't think it makes a difference whether it's a workday or an off day. I feel caught in a rut, subjected to the same routine. Which would be interesting if I were Bill Murray in a cult hit movie. But since I am not, it has ceased to be interesting for a while.

Tomorrow I have an important interview. The changes in my life are inevitably starting. I think I looked for excuse after excuse to continue status quo. Nothing it's easier than living a comfortable life for an indefinite period. I was probably more aimless than I thought I was.

Ryan and I have talked about how we were lacking any sort of motivation before we met. I don't want to go as far as saying that we saved each other, but we at least have provided one another with a jolt of life. At least I know that everything that seemed impossible and unsurmountable a few months back, now seems possible with a little effort. Or a lot of it, but decidedly everything I ever wanted is in the real of possibility.

The life I want is within reach because I am looking for things that most people take for granted. I want a life with Ryan. I want to go out to burgers and a movie with him. Take trips to music festivals. Have christmas and thanksgivings with a house full of people. All simple things that have long been out of my mind.

Today the calendar marks 39 days until the start of something new. And I have to be honest. I am looking for the end of dreaming, and the beginning of reality.